Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Don't call me that!

There are some things that you should never call anyone. Things that are just too horrible, too insulting and cruel to inflict on anyone, even your worst enemy. Someone called me one of those things and I somehow managed not to kill them, but I'm still trying to recover from it.

I hate even to say it, but I will just so you can understand why I'm so upset.

A soccer mom. She called me a soccer mom.

I do understand that there are some people who don't mind being called soccer moms. But you know what? It's because they ARE soccer moms and so they don't realize how horrible it is.

I don't cheer at soccer games - I can't, because my usual sports-watching chant is "Kill them, crush them, maim them!" and I just don't think it's approproate at a kids soccer game. I can't control it, though, so I just have to keep my mouth clamped shut.

I don't want to go to a Pampered Chef party, a makeup party, a Tupperware party, or ANY party where a bunch of women sit around and talk about housework and their children.

I play video games. For fun. Because I want to. I even know about video games, and I just have to grit my teeth when the other moms start talking about how violent and awful most games are. Or when they show that they have no clue what they're talking about.
They say things like "My son says there's a new video game thing - an X-Box? - that he wants. I saw one at Walmart and I might get him that for Christmas, but I don't know if it will work with our computer. I'll have to ask my husband."
It makes me want to scream. It's the 360, woman, and you didn't see it at Walmart because it wasn't out yet. And if it was, it would not work with your computer because it's a console that hooks to your TV you idiot! And by the way, why do you need to ask your husband? Can you not research it on your own? Or does the fact that its a 'video game thing' scare you too much?!

I do not have perfect, puffy hair. I do not wear nice slacks and seasonal sweaters every day. I don't like "easy listening" music exclusively. Or country music at all, which is a capitol offense around here. I don't watch "The View". I don't complain about having to take my child to an amusement park or action movie.

I like black leather and loud music. I wear black converse and jeans. I go to concerts and theme parks for ME, not my son. I do things for him, too, of course, but not always.

I didn't stop being me because I had a child. I would do anything for my son, but that doesn't mean that I now have no life other than him.

I am not one of these Stepfordized women who are all alike and can relate to each other so well. I don't like the things they like. Some of them I wouldn't have wanted as friends before I had a child and my tastes haven't changed just because I gave birth! Don't lump me in with them!!!

Not all moms are "soccer moms", even if their children play soccer. Soccer moms are those women who live only for their children and have lost all sense of themselves. No one likes those women. I don't even know if they like each other. I don't even know if they like themselves!

I'm still me. It's just that now I'm me, with a child. Who I wouldn't trade for anything. But I'm still me. Don't call me a soccer mom.